My Brightest Star

To the person who showed me how to love unconditionally with everything that I am and everything that I will be...

To the person who is always there in good and bad times...

To the person whose gentle and healing touch could calm my struggling heart...

To the person whose kind and fighter eyes inspire me to believe in my self more...

To the person...

whose smile brighten my day, 

whose hug gives me joy, 

whose love gives me support...

Words are not enough to describe how truly happy and grateful I am to have you as my 

MOTHER!!! 

To the person who is my brightest STAR!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAMA...

Happy Mother's Day!!!

My mother and I are addicted to shopping bags and shoes... hihihi

I added this picture since it is unlikely for my mother to wear a dress...
she usually wears her Midwife Uniform everyday!

this post is dedicated to my ever beloved mama... 

even though I published this day after Mother's day, 

its the thought that counts... 

excuses... 

hihihi peace ^_^V

Thank you so much for everything ma! ^__^

till next time...

ja ne.. 

The Right Kind Of Wrong

I found this Leann Rimes Song while rummaging Youtube just so I can get out of my long-vacation-not-enough tantrums!!! The title is "The Right Kind Of Wrong"... wait.... What? hehehe the title is kinda confusing but the title itself caught my attention... 

And so I googled the lyrics and oh my goodness... I can totally relate!!! Here I go again with this unrequited love of mine!!!

So below is the video lyrics of the song... Oh well... this is my life!!! 

As for the lyrics, here are the words that hit me as if I am struck by a lightning...

But I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm where you are

It might be a mistake
A mistake I'm makin'
But what your giving I am happy to be taking
Cause no one's ever made me feel
The way I feel when I'm in your arms

You walk in and my strength walks out the door

There's no way to explain
All the pleasure is worth all the pain

Loving you, yeah, isn't really something I should do

Instead of forgetting, I ended up pampering my feelings for this person... Well for now, as long as I see him happy, I guess its enough... And I am praying and hoping that sooner or later, this emotions of mine will fade away, because there is no way in hell that we could be together... I am quite certain about it... he is the "right kind of wrong"...

I guess I need to get back to my work items hahaha 

till next time...

ja ne

 

There's always that ONE person who annoys you beyond all reasons o_O

Ever been in a situation wherein you of all people receive the brainwaves of the most annoying person you've known? Even hearing his/her voice sends chills down to your spine out of anger?

Well, this happened to me. Yes, the mere sound of this certain person's voice makes me mad and annoyed and my day is severed. Well I was advised not be affected and here I am agitated as ever!

This is the summary as to why I am so distressed... I call it the doom cycle.. ha ha ha...

DOOM CYCLE

So much for my blabbering... I list down the top 6 annoying traits that will definitely ruin my entire day...

know-it-all type
envious type

super childish-good girl or boy type

domineering type

pessimistic type

 i-am-important-cant-you-see type

Know-It-All Type

This is the type who likes to talk, and even more so love to hear themselves speak... rejects the opinions and disregard the words of others. He/She insist that he/she right and is proud about it (even if sometimes... no even if at all times...he/she is wrong >.<)

Envious Type

This is the type who is jealous about everything. He/She is bitter towards you for having an advantage that he/she doesn't have... For instance, instead of being truly happy for a friend that has a new phone, he/she badmouth the friend or make up something ridiculous because he/she cannot afford to buy it him/herself. This type ends up buying unnecessary stuff just to appease their envy and when faced with shortcomings.. blames his/her friends... 

Super-Childish-Good-Girl/Boy  Type

This is the type who likes to act CUTE in front of everybody when in fact his/her devilish tails is unconsciously wagging behind his/her back. He/She pretended he/she doesn't mind if something was done wrong but behind the curtain is a mad dog... "Evil plans behind an innocent childish smile"... 

Domineering Type

This is the type who wants to take in charge with everything always! Even if he/she doesn't fit for the job, he/she willingly volunteers his/her self to lead sometimes and to be bossy most of the time. 

Pessimistic Type

This is the type who drags his/her friends to the Hells of Despair because he/she is nurturing negative attitude. He/She expects the worst of people and of situations. He/She will try to encourage a friend that turns out to be discouraging. 

I-Am-Important-Can't-You-See Type

This is the type who values his/her self with so much high regards (Mt. Everest level). He/She wants to be included in all conversation even if he/she has nothing to do it with. Whenever there's an activity he/she wants a friend or a colleague to fetch him/her from his/her apartment or somewhere else on Earth and point out to him/her that he/she is needed by all, wanted by many... 

So there goes my top 6 list... I was able to have a firsthand experience with all of the 6 traits LIVE, the most amazing part is that I've met a certain individual who has the 5 annoying traits within him/her.. 5 in 1.. isn't it amazing?

However, the list of annoying people will vary in every person... I just jut down my thoughts that has been buzzing my mind lately... Consequently, knowing these traits helps me also... it gave me an idea of who I don't want to be like... ;). And a little advise for those who encountered annoying living creations... just don't give them so much of your time... just imagine that their presence is as thin as a light veil.... their voice a bird singing and their face a bust on display in museums... ha ha ha... this works for me sometimes.. hihihi

time for me to have a good night sleep and get rid of the negative energies...

till next time

ja ne...

Ever thought of rain as lovely?

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about getting out there...
and
Dancing in the RAIN!

It has been raining lately due to the changing of season, from Winter to Spring!... Sometimes, I would get annoyed to the idea that I need to bring an umbrella to work so that I will not soak myself...

However, one certain morning... as I walk under the rain with an umbrella of course... all I have in mind are happy thoughts of what happened earlier may it be earlier of that same morning or days before (you guess :P)... And whenever I see the rain, it would always make me smile.. until now.. :) And as I continued my walking pace... I was able to create a short version poem... See how rain urges me to be creative?

Here is the poem that I created and I also did some little art work to match with the poem... I drew what I thought other's perspective when they see my back... Well, I am quite proud of the result since I was able to put into a sketch book my visualization of my back view (with an umbrella... and well my wear)... and without further adieu (drum roll background music)... TA DAH! My poem... :)...

Reminiscing Under The Rain

All happy thoughts of you I feel
Midst the rain my heart smiles with glee
Precious moments no one could steal
Oh time! Please don't hurry to flee

Gentle rain pours down from the sky
'Tis the time some dwell in despair
Rain seals the wings thus cannot fly
Whilst I... soaring heavens I DARE!

There you have it... well I hope you can also feel my happiness that day... I just wanted to share it and put my happiness into something inspiring!

And now, as I look the rain through my window, all I could do is think of that special memory, smile and say to myself  "The Rain is Lovely Today!"...

I have to go to sleep now...

Till next time

ja ne

That Someone You Can't Have

Should I smile because he's my friend,
or cry because that's all he is?

Only few of my friends know this blog of mine... so here I am forging this as my online diary!!! I am still sharing bits and pieces of my well, life's journey so please spare me your hates and criticisms... he he he! 

Lately I've been trying to divert my attention to something else... online games... blogging... watching anime, jdrama, kdrama, english series... studying nihongo (well this is the only option that I rarely do because it will push me to my limits and I'll be depressed even more hahahaha)... I do all these things to make myself forget my feelings for that someone I know I cannot have... 

But, you might be wondering why I am writing this? I needed an outlet wherein I can let this all out... my emotions, my feelings and my aches since I cannot get myself to open up to my friends. Quite frustrating,  yeah I know, since I have my friends' contacts, gmail, yahoo messenger accounts, skype accounts and realize that there is no one who will understand, or so I thought. Maybe some will console me... hug me (well those three close friends I am sharing everything with are in the Philippines so I can hug them this coming December T_T)... but I cannot tell them... I don't know.. I just can't... 

This someone is not the "hunk-handsome" type, nor the "boy-next-door" type, nor the "tall-ragged-handsome" type... He is "ordinary", simple, someone who will choose comfort first before fashion/style, someone who is confident but not bossy, he is sure of himself yet not cocky... he is smart but not the "know-it-all" person... he is the one whose humor will always make me laugh... he can cook (definitely @_@)... he just knows how to melt my heart...  

He is someone I can say "The One"... なのに。。。however... he has found his "Other Half"... yes... and she is not me.. Sometimes if somebody would ask who I wished I could be at this moment... I'd answer.. I wanted to be "her" so that he would love me too... aarggggh PATHETIC ME! Hey, I love myself... I love being me.. why wish to be someone else? HA HA HA.. so conflicting.. my ideas are... 

Anyways... I am teaching myself to stop loving that someone I cannot have... There are times I wish I haven't known him so that I have an excuse just to say "hi.. wave, smile and then go" just like acquaintances do... nevertheless, we became close and acting like I haven't known him or ignoring him would be strange to him... and he might force me into talking what's wrong... and I cannot do that... so the only thing I could do now is to continue to be his "FRIEND"... yes, painful... but its alright.. I have accepted the reality... just being close to him is enough... I just want to enjoy his company. He is such a good friend and I don't want to embrace the idea "I-already-cannot-have-him-and-still-lose-our-friendship" stuff... Gosh the idea is NIGHTMARE!!! Noooo unacceptable.. He he he. 

It is tough... but I guess I did mention this on my first blog post "REALITY IS HARSH"! Well that's life for you. Giving you all the challenges and difficulties to mold you to become a better person. And according to Bernice Reagon:  "Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are"... Indeed, no other words I could add up to that statement... straight and simple.

The prettiest smile hides the deepest secret...

What is written in the header picture is "Sayonara Memories"... this is not because I want to forget everything... it is just that the memories I have of him will forever be treasured but I sure know that time will pass and these feelings of mine will fade away...

Actually, this Sayonara Memories is a Supercell Song and I can totally relate to the whole lyrics of the song! I don't know why but almost all of the Supercell songs are like "MY STORY"... he he he...

However, in Sayonara Memories lyrics... at the last part, the girl was able to convey her feelings to someone she loved... however in my case, I've made my resolve... I don't want him to know... I will forever be his loyal friend... and I will forever cherish our time together ^___^...

If miracles do happen, and he'd love me... then I would be the happiest... its just that... miracles rarely happen and so I will expect no more. Good thing I was raised from a family with a lot of challenges, because now, I can handle pain and difficulties better... I could smile and do my work normally as if nothing happens and act as if I am not hurting.

So for those who share the same fate as I am.. loving "that someone you can't have" don't despair... you will feel pain... yes... just simply think of it as a test... don't be bitter he he he (this is important) ;)... It is not always going to be easy... but always remember, God has big plans for all of us... we just need to believe :)

as long as he is happy...
my heart smiles with him :)

I am very thankful I met him ^^

I just thought of writing out my emotions... but I ended up giving pieces of advice lols...

till next time...

ja ne!

Note: Thanks to internet images for the Supercell album pictures ;)

An Enchanted Encounter: Spirited Away Rememory!

Chihiro: How did you know my name was Chihiro?
Haku: I have known you since you were very small.

Chihiro: You don't remember your name?
Haku: No, but for some reason I remember yours.

千と千尋の神隠し( Sen To Chihiro No Kamikakushi: Sen and Chihiro's Spiriting Away) 

Spirited Away was the first ever Miyazaki Movie that I watched, and until now, I cannot get tired of watching it over and over again. When I think of it, I lose count of how many times I've watched this. I could still remember my emotions while watching and my reaction after the movie... I wanted more of Haku and Chihiro... but I also believed that the ending of the Spirited Away is the "RIGHTFUL" ending! The outcome of the movie kept on lingering on my mind for the whole semester of my 2nd year college... HA HA HA!

The story begins as Chihiro and her parents take a wrong turn down an old dirty path while traveling to their new home in the country side. They then discover a tunnel at the bottom of the path. Chihiro's father insists on exploring and they crossed the dry riverbed which leads them into a mysterious town filled with restaurants that have all kinds of delicious food. Chihiro's parents didn't hesitate to sit down and start helping themselves to some food, Chihiro however, senses danger and she refuses to eat. Chihiro's doubt of the strange town leads her to wander off and explore. She comes upon a bridge and meets a young boy named Haku. The boy then tells Chihiro that she must leave before nightfall. As night falls, she is terrified to see the area fill with faceless spirits, she then runs off to find her parents and discovers too late that they have been turned into pigs. The dry riverbed they crossed before is now filled with water, thus she's unable to cross becoming trapped in the Spirit World. 

Chihiro runs off and hides, Haku then finds her and promises to help her. He gets her a job working in a bathhouse for the thousands of gods and spirits. Though the work is hard and the people strange, she does as well as she can. Haku also reminded Chihiro to never forget her name since it is also one of the key to be able to go back to Human World. 

Her parents, however, are still waiting in the bathhouse's stockyard, and Chihiro must find a way to break the spell on them before they end up as the main course of some guest's dinner.

Thus the mysterious adventure of Chihiro began... Chihiro's passion and determination... and Haku's love and compassion... helping each other... indeed love and friendship knows no boundaries...

This indeed is a heart warming story and I am so happy to have watched this movie... I also wanted to share the video from YouTube a picture slideshow of the movie and the background music "Always With Me". This song is from the movie also and I really really love it. I am not the one who created the video... just sharing it though ;)...

Lyrics below from animelyrics.com

yondeiru  muneno dokoka okude 
itsumo kokoro odoru  yume wo mitai

it's calling out from deep within the heart 
I always want to dream cheerful dreams

kanashimi wa  kazoe kirenai keredo 
sono mukoude kitto  anataniaeru

sadness can never be counted but 
I will be able to see you on the other side

kurikaesu ayamachi no  sonotabi hito wa 
tada aoi sora no  aosawo shiru 
hateshinaku  michiwatsuzuite mieru keredo 
kono ryoute wa  hikariwo idakeru

every time people repeat mistakes, 
they know the blue of the simply blue sky 
it seems as if the road continues endlessly but 
these hands can find light

sayonara no tokino  shizukanamune 
zeroni narukaradaga  mimiwo sumaseru

the quiet heart when parting 
the ear listens as the body changes to zero

ikiteiru fushigi  shindeiku fushigi 
hana mo kaze mo machi mo  minnaonaji

living, mysterious, dying, mysterious 
the flower, the wind, the city;  they're the same

yondeiru  muneno dokoka okude 
itsumo nando demo  yumewo egakou

it's calling out from deep within the heart 
let's draw out dreams always, numerous times

kanashimi no kazuwo  iitsuku suyori 
onaji kuchibiru de  sotto utaou

instead of stating the number of sadness 
sing softly with the same lips

tojiteiku omoideno  sononakani itsumo 
wasuretakunai  sasayakiwo kiku 
kona gonani kudakareta  kagami no uenimo 
atarashii keshiki ga utsusareru

even in the closing memories, there are always 
whispers that cannot be forgotten 
even on the shattered mirror shards, 
a new scenery is reflected

hajimari no asa(no)  shizukana mado 
zeroni narukarada  mitasarete yuke

the quiet window on the beginning morning 
the body that is changing to zero is being pleased

umi no kanatani wa  mou sagasanai 
kagayaku monowa  itsumo kokoni 
watashi no nakani  mitsukeraretakara

I won't search beyond the sea from now 
the shining thing is always here, 
it can be found within myself

I have watched other Miyazaki's movies and so far Spirited Away is still my favorite... Hands down to Hayao Miyazaki for creating such majestic masterpieces m(^_^)m. What a great way to inspire everyone...

I created a heroine who is an ordinary girl, someone with whom the audience can sympathize. It's not a story in which the characters grow up, but a story in which they draw on something already inside them, brought out by the particular circumstances. I want my young friends to live like that, and I think they, too, have such a wish.

- Hayao Miyazaki 

From Interview: Miyazaki on Sen To Chihiro No Kamikakushi

This ends my Spirited Away Rememory!!!

Till Next time...

ja ne.. ^_^

Sakura!!! OH Sakura!

Hatori:"What do you think snow becomes after it melts?"

Tohru:"What? Um, let's see. It..It becomes spring, doesn't it? No matter how cold it is now, spring will come for sure. Amazing, isn't it? Snow always melts away. Always. I love spring the most."

This is a snippet conversation from one of the anime that I love... Fruits Basket!... When snow melts, spring will come for sure... 必ず。。。And when spring comes... Cherry Blossoms or "SAKURA" will adorn the whole place. 

Its beauty and its promise to each one of us for a new beginning will surely touch everyone's heart. 

If Tohru from Fruits basket, had Spring as her most favorite, Spring for me is the 2nd... I love Autumn more.. anyways.. let's talk about Spring and Sakura...

Lovely Sakura I captured last year April 7, 2012

This year, Im too busy enjoying myself with the snow and snowboarding, I wasn't able to go to Hanami / Sakura Viewing with some of my friends. The Sakura Bloom this year was way too early in Tokyo areas... This week, the Sakura trees in almost all Parks in Yokohama area are now withering :(... Sakura blossoms will only last at most 2 weeks from first bloom...

Too bad for me,  Thus, I just want to share our Hanami last year 2012... since I was not able to write anything about this as well. And also its been a year since then, Today is April 7, 2013... We did have our first Hanami last year April 7, 2012...

When I first came here in Japan, I swear to myself I would lavish myself with Sakura views and take note.. LIVE Sakura viewing... ^_^...  and my wish was granted last year :) we went to two Parks with great number of Sakura Trees, parks good for Sakura Hanami... 

First we went to Sankeien Garden...

We really had fun... enjoying the view and the food we brought. It was also a great time to celebrate one of my friends' birthday... The only thing that sometimes annoy us was the COLDNESS!... Gosh, we thought that since it was already Spring, we don't need to wear thick clothing, however... in Sankeien Garden.. it was soooooooo COLD! Right now, I could still remember me shivering.. HA HA HA!!!

まいいか！To sum up everything, it was a GREAT FIRST HANAMI I had... 

Here are some of the pics we had in our Sankeien Hanami!

Our First Touch of Sakura Flower ^_^

Me enjoying the SAKURA!!!

Beautiful... isn't it?

Midst the coldness... vanity it is!

And since, we still wanted more of SAKURA... we went to Showa Kinen Koen... or to call the park easily Tachikawa Park.. HE HE HE... 

It was a huge park, you need to ride a bike to explore the whole place... and the pressure is on... I need to learn how to bike... o.O OMG! And so, I practiced riding the bike the night before and TADA! I really am productive under pressure HA HA HA... I learned how to bike in less than 3 hours.. YEY! I'm a fast learner, am I not? 

The park was full of various flowers.. and many many many BEAUTIFUL Sakura Trees... we brought a lot of foods too... that was super great experience, much more enjoyable compared to our Sankeien trip.. ;) The place was lovely!!! 

Here are our pics ;)...

Lovely tulips that will make you smile :)

Tulips and a lot of flowers everywhere... weeee

^_______^

Don't know why, I just love this shot ^_^

We were acting like we own the place.. ha ha ha

Me trying to steady my balance.. ;)

Sakura... oh you're so close to me.. <3

 A group pic to end a wonderful Hanami 2012... ^_^

Japanese and those people living in the area where there's Spring... are very lucky... witnessing Sakura blossoms every year is a gift... And I am happy indeed that at least, I was able to witness such beauty.. All I could do now is to cherish this experience... This is one of the happenings in my life I would never forget ^__^... 

till next time...

ja ne